Everyone. I have an important announcement to make:

I’ve been working on this blog for a long time now, and it’s begun to detract from my personal life. My girlfriend is threatening to leave me if I don’t get off the computer more often, my grades are dropping and I’m actually in danger of losing my scholarship to Cooper Union, my parents are threatening to cut off my access to the Internet, and even my friends on this blog are telling me that I need to get help. So, after much thought and discussion with my counselors I’ve decided to quit writing for this blog. I am asking Typoattack to delete my account tomorrow. I bid thee all farewell. I hope you all can forgive Emptynight as he tries to get his act together.

Now for something completely different:

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